Ramblings of a Newborn Writer

I am a new writer. I am so new you can almost smell the naïveté wafting out as I open my laptop to write this – my very first blog. There is, as yet, no hint of disillusionment from hundreds of rejection letters and, although I have had a few self-publishing woes, I am eternally optimistic with my dreams of literary grandeur. So, at the suggestion of a good, web savvy friend (thanks Ange!), I now begin what I hope will be a very long and fulfilling journey as a writer.

I never thought of myself as a good writer. In fact I never thought of myself as a writer at all. There were so many other, more glamorous, professions I dreamt about getting into - but now I wonder; would they have been more satisfying or pride-evoking than what I have embarked on now?

I guess I finally found what I want to be when I grow up! Or rather, I found out what I am and, have been since the day I learned how to put two words together. Now that I think about it, I do remember the first time I thought I could be a writer - I just didn’t realise it then.

It was December 1995 and I was just a teenager sitting in her room reading a magazine (I think it was Cosmopolitan). I came across an article about Barbra Streisand in which the writer (I wish I could remember their name so I can credit them) wrote: “She began that languid ballad of young love softly, her voice youthful but clear as a bell, her high notes enthrallingly pure”.
I was so in awe of that sentence that I had to write it down and, to this day I am not entirely sure why but, I remember wishing I could make others feel what I felt with those words.

It’s amazing the clarity you get when you finally make that life decision, nay discovery. Now all the pieces fit – like my compulsion to collect books (even if I didn’t end up reading them). I always loved how they filled my bookcase with a beautiful kaleidoscope of spines and, more than that, the promise of where they could take you and what they could make you feel. 
There's my stationery fetish and, I could never walk past a blank sheet of paper without writing or drawing something on it - even if it was just my name or a doodle of a flower or something. An unknown force had me magnetised to that page and I couldn’t escape until I had marked it with something of me (psychological interpretations regarding that little personality tidbit are most welcome).

I was never one for over-the-top big or difficult words though – I think there is more pleasure in making people feel the power of language and story, no matter how large or limited their vocabulary. I guess that’s why I want to write children's books (which hopefully adults can appreciate too).

Now, sometimes my inferiority complex rears its ugly head and I do think to myself “who do I think I am trying to do this for a living?”. Especially when under the illustrious writers umbrella stands revered artists like Shakespeare and Margaret Mitchell (sorry, big ‘Gone with the Wind’ fan). 
And here’s me; someone who didn’t have a particularly fantastic education and who basically plagiarised her year 3 creative writing assignment from the story of a video game – thank heavens ‘my’ story about a boy called Zink who went on a dangerous quest to save a Princess Kelda didn’t sound familiar at all to my teacher at the time (sorry Miss!).
Well, I answer my inner critic (as well as outer ones) with this; if you just can’t help yourself doing what you’re doing and, you are completely happy with yourself when you are doing it, then to hell with what anyone else thinks of the quality of your work. On the other hand; you should always retain a thirst for knowledge of your craft. Keep striving to know more about your work and, do better. After all, it gives you so much – pleasure, comfort, freedom, self esteem and - indeed a purpose in life.

Sure, every writer dreams of writing something profound and enduring that, people the world over can relate to, cherish and (let’s be honest) pay for.
But I say, if you get just one person (who is not emotionally or otherwise invested in you or your work) to read past the first few lines or first page and want to know what happens next, you have done something right.

If you write, you are a writer even if no one buys your stuff. Of course, it doesn’t hurt to aspire to be the next best-seller but, as trite and clichéd as it may sound, you have to stay true to yourself even without any outside validation.

Oscar Wilde said it best – “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken”.

So, from the bottom of my little writers heart – thank you so much for reading and I hope to meet you again on this exciting journey.

Ciao!