Why raising children is like the first year of a humanities degree

I have two children under the age of five. I have also recently finished the first year of my Librarianship degree (in which it was compulsory to undertake four core humanities units). These are some correlations I have observed about the two experiences.

The phrase “I have no idea what I am doing here” is uttered often.

The unknown is scary, even when it is not completely unknown. People in all corners of the world have been raising children for thousands of years – this process is not new – yet, there is no one, right way to do it. 

Children are not like pets (contrary to the beliefs of some). By comparison, pets are so easy to look after; food, water, exercise, yearly vet visit – done. Children have minds, hearts and souls that need nurturing. They need love, attention and they need to be guided and shown (by modelling) how to grow into fully functioning and happy adults. That. Is. Hard.

“I don’t know if I am doing this right?” is a fair question from any parent, but like I said, there is no one ‘right’ – we just need to take it a day at a time and, the important thing is that we try our best.

In the humanities units I did, there is a lot of inward-gazing (or reflexivity) and questioning. Thinking and writing about yourself can also feel like a big ‘unknown’. There can be periods of boredom or tasks you just don’t want to do but, this process (if taken with some measure of seriousness) can also yield surprising rewards.

They both teach you about the world (or the way you see it anyway).

We each live in a bubble. The shiny veneer of this bubble is our ‘worldview’. It is the custom filter through which we process all information about ourselves, the world and our relationship to it. No two worldviews are identical, naturally. However, most people forget “a way of seeing, is also a way of not seeing” (Berger). Even though your child is of your own flesh and is raised by you, they will not have the same worldview. For one, they are of a new generation - born in a different time and raised by a different generation of parents to yours. It’s foolish to expect them to think like you or, even to want them to. You want them to think for themselves. 

As a parent you will be bombarded with questions by your children. “What do worms eat?” and “where do rainbows come from?” are fairly easy to find a consensus on, however, you will eventually get some whoppers like “What is God?”, or “What’s heaven like?”.

My 4-year-old recently surprised me with one of these and I have to say, it was a lot harder to answer than I ever imagined. Firstly, I myself don’t even know what I believe on these topics yet. I’ve sort of gone through life outwardly rebelling against my own mother’s staunch non-secular beliefs, yet subconsciously, finding it hard to not believe there is actually something to this religion-thing (oh yeah, it’s a thing). So, telling my child “well, actually I don’t believe in a God or a heaven” just doesn’t feel right (even if it is what I believe) – I acknowledge there will be some who disagree with me there. 

Anyway, I guess what I am saying is; The questions children and humantities units ask of you help re-install that particular brand of curiosity essential to growth. You learn about yourself (what you believe and, why) which enables you to make any adjustments you feel necessary and, help your child discover their own beliefs (which may not necessarily align with yours in the end). 

It is important for children to grow up knowing why they believe what they believe is not just because it was passed down by their parents as a universal truth – there is no such thing (at least I don’t believe there is).

I highly recommend both.

I realise humanities courses have been the butt of many a joke but, I have really enjoyed my year of discovery. I truly love learning and, what better subjects than my own self and the world around me? 

(My unit on critical thinking was a particular favourite - of course, I’m a logical Virgo). New ways of seeing and thinking are always welcome in my book.

And, what of having Children? 

Well, there really isn’t any other experience like it (yes, I know have just contradicted myself). 

Don’t get me wrong, raising kids is hard work – ‘the patience of Job’ is a prerequisite I’m afraid – but nothing else feels quite as good (and life-affirming) as the unconditional love of a child - and perhaps feeling like you've done something to deserve it.

*For all those playing at home, the humanities subjects I completed this year included; An Introduction to University, Critical Thinking, Art & Creativity and an Introduction to Sociology unit.